Where we belong

I understand the anger, I am not saying it is wrong,  particularly when the same communities kick out out trans women but… but…

I worry that this view ignores non binary people a friend of mine considers zir self to be a transgender butch, while not female zie does consider hirself part of the lesbian community, zie used to be on T but isn’t anymore, is sometimes read as female and sometimes as male, but it is more than that.

I want to tell a story, this story is from memory and the details may be wrong, I also do not know how this guy ided, other than being a faab transtioning person, but I do remember him requesting male pronouns

Sitting around in a trans support group, the topic of the day was chosen family a young man spoke of loosing family twice, first being abandoned by his birth family for being queer, and then loosing those who considered him their family because he came out as trans, his mentors, his chosen family came from the lesbian community, he had been a lesbian, and his chosen family turned their back on him.

In his story, his voice, his eyes I saw a defeated bitterness, a person who discovered that to be himself, meant being abandoned yet again.

History is important, it makes us who we are, cis men generally don’t have years of being seen as a lesbian and seeing themselves of a lesbian.

I do not have a theory, I am not trying to say that this is a fundamental world view, but I know what happened was wrong.

There is a wall of pain between the setup and the punch line

The set up: The radio plays a clip of a new sit com, the big new thing.

The set up: A mother telling her child the skirt she is wearing is too short, not because she will get cold, but because her child’s life with be ruined, she will fall into sluthood and wake up half-naked on beaches, short skirts just have that power.

The punch line: Everyone knows you are a girl sweetie you don’t have to prove it.

And I flinch, and I want to scream, and I know that the mainstream language doesn’t even have the words I need to use, to speak the violence of that line because everyone knows (sweetie) that womanhood is determined gycologically, everyone knows that no real woman ever had someone look at their genitals and declare “it’s a boy” without their consent, without asking first.

Everybody knows.