Passing or being passed:
Passing tends to mean two different things, because we mix them up in the boarder society, one which I will refer to on this blog as being read as $gender means that your internal view of your gender is being understood by those around you, ie a trans women who is seen by people as a women is being correctly read.
read as cis: that is, that a person is being considered n0n trans (because that is what cis is, it’s the Latin opposite of trans), this is what people often mean when they meet a passing trans person, because it is assumed that the only kind of (wo)man is a cis (wo)man therefore someone must look not trans to be read as (fe)male. This differentiation is important because it allows us to talk, for binary gendered folk about cis being a type of (wo) man and not what (wo)man are.
Many different things depending who is talking, everything from not telling anyone, to not mentioning it at work, or outside particular people. Trans people, because we are considered weird/freaks/inauthentic, are considered to be lying if we don’t yell from the roof tops, if we could have left anyone assuming that we are like them like you know, real people.
There is occasionally shit on both sides of the stealth/out debate which pretty much boils down to “trans, I’m doing it right, you are doing it wrong” Calpernia Addams talks about receiving unsolicited advice from stealth trans people who feel that she should be stealth.
These people need to be hit with a haddock. (hat tip to Dw3t-Hthr)
And there are definly activist within the trans community who think that everyone should be out, living for the cause 24/7 and you must be self hating if you are stealth because what else that stealth would cause you to try to avoid other people’s shit.
These people should also be hit with a haddock.
For myself, I think I will probably never be totally out, as in everyone ever knows, or totally stealth.
I am not out at work, this to some people makes me stealth (abit as a cis women) I am not out to my extended family, in both case the cause is exactly the same, I know I would still be misgendered and I would have to become everyone debating partner, and I would get to hear everyone and I do mean everyones view on the construction of gender, I am sure someone would assume that I mean I was one of those transSEXual chicks with dicks they totally don’t admit to wanking over, not worth the stress.
On the other hand, non of the surgeries I am interested in will allow to to pass as cis for sex, so as long as I don’t want to be celibate I am going to have to be out to my partners, and if I am not more openly out in my social group I will run the risk of being outed by a partner or an ex.
I don’t owe being out, or closeted to anyone, and I intend to continue to do what suits me.
On this blog, about peoples transition choices, critize the systems that constrict trans peoples choices, but not how trans people respond to that.
This blog is about non-binary trans people accessing medical transition, and centres those issues, without ignoring others, but those issues are my focus
Lets take a random trans person and call them kate
Ie, if kate doesn’t want surgery, then that is ok, if kate wants and is going to have surgery that is ok, if kate wants some surgery but not others that is ok, any mix of these options are ok.
If kate wants surgery but not hormones and is being blocked because zie isn’t a true transexual, that is not ok.
A trans person who happens to tick all the boxes of the current trans medical system, it is important to note that those who happen to fit the tick boxes are as deserving of respect as anyone else, they are not brainwashed, they are not supporting the binary, they are simply trans people, and I work along side them, they are my allies and I am theirs, their is too much fighting within the trans community and I have no intention of adding to it.
What is genderqueer?
To me, anyone who tells me they are genderqueer is, wikipedia says which I think is pretty much as good as you are going to get for a word which was designed to be vague and encompassing.
Genderqueer (GQ) and intergender are catch-all terms for gender identities other than man and woman. People who identify as genderqueer may think of themselves as being both man and woman, as being neither man nor woman, or as falling completely outside the gender binary. They may express a combination of masculinity and femininity, one or the other, or neither. Genderqueers may have any sexuality/sexual identity, any physical sex, and may or may not identify as trans.
Who are you?
An annomouse female assigned genderqueer who is exploring transition as a non binary person. My coblogger is mishgitterpony a faggy femme FIERCE BITCH tranny whore, according to their introduction who goes by the pronouns they/them/their.
I would love to have other bloggers who id as gq2gq share this blog, so if you want to, just leave a comment.
I am hoping to keep this blog as a resource for transitioning, or considering transition non binary people, or really anyone who finds this stuff useful, I want to talk about dealing with your head, dealing with the trans medical system, which is bad enough with “primary transexuals” who they consider their best patients and would rather that freaks like me didn’t exist, or at least didn’t bother them.
I, use male pronouns, and while in a binarist world, that is a world which forces me to pick one of two genders I intend to pass as male, if/when others jump in, I will add their perfered pronouns in as well.
Hope you enjoy the ride.
Edited as mish is hanging around now too.