I found a incoming like to this blog, which I will not like back about someone joking about trans men’s fear of victimisation in jail.
This to put not to fine a point on it, triggered the fuck out of me, because I am scared, because I suffer from flashbacks and memories of past victimisation, because in a male jail I would be a small non passing guy with breasts and a cunt.
I would be vulnerable, and because of a law discussed in my state, that looked good on paper about the searching trans* people by police was writen is such a way that a detective could argue that they where in the right because they assumed that a butch women was really a _trans man_ and therefore it was appropriate for them to search her, rather than treating her in the same way that a gender conforming cis person would be treated.
Lets be clear, conversations about rape need to centre women, the primary victims of sexual abuse, and convsations about trans* victims of rape should center trans women, and other maab trans people, as they are at higher risk of victimisation, but we do ourselves no favours by ignoring abuse, any violation, treating it as as not important.
But, I care about humans, and that means stepping back from a rigid kyriarchical analysis and recognising that all victims are stripped of their humanity, and reconfirming that humanity should be a step on the journey.
It’s absolutely acceptable to center a particularly oppressed group when talking about rape, especially when you belong to that group yourself. I find it entirely acceptable and even positive for women to focus on rape committed against women, and to not be constantly compelled to talk about men, who are in a position of relative privilege. I find it similarly acceptable and positive for trans* people of whatever gender to focus on rape committed against other trans* people, and to not be constantly harassed about caring more about cis survivors. I find it acceptable and positive for people with disabilities to talk about sexual violence specifically committed against other people with disabilities, and to not have to deal with constant reminders that abled people are raped, too.
And I honestly have not the slightest clue why anyone would think that I might want to take that from them.
But actively denying those survivors you don’t center is a different story. Castigating someone else for talking about them ever, and for even calling their experiences rape, is an entirely different subject. Outright saying that you do not care if they are raped may indeed be an expression of righteous anger, but it’s sure as hell not getting us anywhere, collectively. Ejecting other survivors from a larger community of survivors is alienating, as is also attempting to eject those who dare mention their existence.
That post made me feel a lot better, because I know that I have privilege in this society, I know that many people have it worse than me, and I feel once again like I am standing with the community knowing that those around me wont tell me that my issues are unimportant, that they can be gotten too, later, or not at all.
TL;DR: Look, I don’t expect you to advocate for me, or focus activism on me rather other groups, particularly when those groups are in as bad, or worse a position socially but supporting you shouldn’t be based on pulling me, or anyone else down, or thinking that another oppressed group should be raped because that is just so gosh-darn-funny, and you know, edgy
You know, I probably wouldn’t have written about this, cause in a lot of ways the “butch flight” dog wissule isn’t my issue, I am not exculively gynophillic, I am femme as fuck and I tend to laugh at those who talk about butch flight.
So why am I writing about it? Because kate fucking bornstein linked me to this peice of transphobic crap.
The Kate that wrote gender outlaw has decided that hating on trans guys and other ft* people is totally feminist and not at all buying in to the same cisexist crap that she herself dealt with.
I don’t want to write up all the ways it is wrong, I don’t have the energy and that wasn’t why I started writing this blog.
I write this blog, because their wasn’t a whole lot of useful stuff I found when I started really dealing with the medial system on stories of femme trans boi/genderqueers, about how feminism and gender idenity interact and colour our perceptions, and that is what butch boi and Kate bornstein miss in totality, they make the same assumptions about my gender and sexuality that the wider cis community do they assume that I am butch (darling? really? ) that I date women exclusively (don’t get me wrong, the right kind girl can make me weak at the knees but I dig the boys and the those who are neither as well)
One thing that frustrated me when I into the medical system was the way I was treated as if this had been something that occured to me yesterday, rather than something I had been struggling with for a very long time, I was asked within the medical system to prove my male-ness by proving my masculinity, it was expected, and treatment would be withheld if I didn’t perform a butch dyke script, I avoided parts of it, I refused to misgender my partner to produce the butch femme narrative they where expecting, even though on the basis of his house, his cd collection and his cats I am clearly dating a lesbian.
I am reminded of the older style gender clinics that complained about how transexuals (women) lied about there histories to access hormones, knowing that if they didn’t present “the narititve” they wouldn’t be able to access treatment.
Butchboi sets up a senario of insufficent bulling of ft* people, zie wants me to have suffered more, I would have explored butchness instead of genderqueerness.
Further more, butchboi seems to be obsessed with gentials, here zie agians fits right in with the doctors, who are also obsessed with trans peoples gentials, to a much greater extent than trans people themselves, I believe that the vast majority of ft* people never get gential surgery, and of those who do get gentail surgery the more minor* procedure metaoidioplasty is much more common than more major* surgeries.
In the end, what kate linked to, and what butchboi wrote assumed that ft* people, where/are lesbains, belong to lesbains more than to themselves, will or should regret medical treatments and go the extremes rather than seeking the treatments which they need to deal with there dysphoria.In the end butchboi idenifies themselves as moving towards being a trans man without transtion, which I totally support, it is hir pissing on everyone else to do it that gets on my *not yet surgically mutilated tits*
I don’t believe that trans people are stupid, or misguided, or need to be talked down to, not by butches and not by gender outlaws who want to stop them experiencing their gender.
If you are worried about trans people regretting their transitional treatments, I recommend first talking to some latter transtioning people, as many of them may regret not transitioning earlier, who may talk about the difficulty of continuing a life where most of your resume says, “jill” and if you don’t, and if you don’t empathise with those trans people, please ask yourself, what are you doing when you talk about the what trans people should do for their own good?
Edit to add: And this doesn’t even touch the butch dykes who are trans, and probalby aren’t going to detranstion, who seem to be always missing from the conversation (I was guilty of that in my post about sewing suits)
*With regard to surgically complexity, recovery time, and so on.
This is going to be hard to write, because I consider the people who run questioning transphobia to be freinds of mine, I also think they in general they run a good blog, which I wouldn’t want to run, however I think they really fucked up, and I think that has to be noted.
The post Greeting from asia was anti sexworker and to me it constituted hate speech,
In the comments lisa said
I’d like people to focus on the rest of the post, but the complaints about the dehumanization of sex workers are valid.
Which sounds quite a lot like
Editors’ Note: All posts published on Bilerico Project do not reflect the opinions of nor any endorsement by the Editorial Team. Many Bilerico readers and contributors have found Ronald Gold’s op-ed offensive or needlessly coarse. The idea behind Bilerico Project is to encourage dialogue among different facets of the LGBT community that might normally never interact this intimately. We encourage all readers to continue responding to Mr. Gold in the same spirit his post was written – with positive intent while bluntly stating your own opinion and experiences.
I am really disappointed in questioning transphobia, time has pasted, their has been no apology, no edit, no “hey guys we are sorry that article went up with anti-sex worker content”, nothing.
It is not ok to deamonise sex workers, it is not ok to talk about the trans community as if trans sex workers are not part of that community, it is not ok to suggest those trans people who access hormones without the help of doctors are doing “real” trans people a disservice
hate speech is written with “positive intent” is still hate speech.
As for Yuki’s question
So how would the advancement of sex workers benefit the transgender community as a whole?
What is considered success for a sex worker that contributes to the betterment of trans communities worldwide?
I point you towards little light (who you should be reading anyway), who as far as I know has never been a sex worker said, particularly if you feel like we shouldn’t focus on sex workers rights because they only support sex workers.
The ground is unsteady under my feet, and the job, the pantry, the door that locks, I can get pulled off it just as fast as I can be locked up for soliciting for walking down the street for groceries.
Yuki, you might want a better argument than no one who could afford at cis prostitue would hire a trans protitute.
There are so many things wrong with this news piece I do not know where to start. For someone who can carry RM 400 (~150 Aus dollars/130 US )in his wallet, it seems ridiculous that this “Ping”, would choose a transsexual female for companionship, rather than a Chinese female social escort or a female prostitute, which is all over Chow Kit. It is hard to believe. [currency converstion added by me]
Oh and cigfran, the best way to reach across cultures also isn’t to ignore the anti sex worker comments and comments that seem to tatitily suggest that the murder of sex workers is less important that the murder of non sexworker trans women. Unless you also feel that trans women means non sexworker trans women.
I want questioning transphobia to be a safer space for trans people, that includes trans women trans men, genderqueers whether or not they are sex workers, that means not coming across a writer on this blog suggesting that their murder would mean less because of the work they do. I want to see a statement that questioning transphobia isn’t only a space for non sexworker trans people.)