knee length, cute, black, wool, buinesswear, political and mental battle ground.
What does it mean to wear a skirt, one I have worn many times before one which I often wore when I was doing office work, out while out as trans.
Am I not trans enough, am I letting other trans people down, given that I am passing as cis and enjoying it?
By the end of the night, I knew I was doing the right thing, I had had fun, but god it was nice to rip it all off.
But then, what the fuck do I mean by genderqueer, I feel like their is a whole lot of pressure to act like non binary id’s are some cute name for binary id’s like I am some trans man who is cool with the lingo.
I feel a huge pressure to disown female parts of me, a trans female friend commented recently we I talked about this that it had taken her years to be ok with the idea dressing butch, and that she didn’t know how I could do it. I totally understand her point of view, but for me, their isn’t safety or freedom from dysmorphia in presenting as purely male, because it isn’t me.
Gender Fucking Queer In particular for me I am in important and significant ways female, or femme or something.
Now if only I could convince myself that I wasn’t less real, less truly trans because of it.
Their is this idea out this idea that gender queers are all thin White urban and female assigned whose gender has a strong masculine bias this is to put no too fine a point on it bullshit but yet it has persisted and that needs to change. I don’t have all answers, but I hope this space can make the definition of genderqueer and the support for non binary people a little larger, so there is more room for femmes and for male and intersex assigned genderqueers.
It seems ridiculous to me that we, as non binary people have ended up here, when I look at those authors who I read* when I was younger, those who helped me come to terms with my identity, and those within my local community who helped me find my way, the majority of them where male assigned, so the idea that I and people like me have become “the” genderqueers is deeply weird. That doesn’t stop it from hurting people.
I’m not sure what to do about apart from welcoming, apart from trying to keep my ears and mind open, to make a point of noticing and encouraging those who my community can forget and erase.
When building a community we must ask, who is this for, who do we open our arms, our hearts and our homes to, how are they supported in their world.
For me, I like the answer to be everyone, or at least everyone who needs here.
So when I see arguments about how we should consider only the transexual community, not the cross dresses, not the tg butches, not queens, not those bad gender-doing people, just us, I want to scream, and not only because I suspect that I would find that I am not us when it comes down to it.
The identity restrictive trans community isn’t my trans community, if you want me, I will be in the garden and I will be happy to here from whoever need a hand.
*No that I agree with all those authors all the time, but they where all part of my coming to a point where I could call myself genderqueer