Genderqueer 2 genderqueer's Blog

Transition and time pressure

Posted in Uncategorized by genderqueer2genderqueer on March 11, 2011

Something struck me the other day, seeing the little bottles of Testosterone in the box near my bed.

Wait and see, Trans people are often told, and its often not bad advice, if you don’t need to transition for your mental health, and you’re not sure then sure, wait.

But the reasons I don’t want to wait are not personal, I have a current prescription for Testosterone, I can keep using it with having to further justify myself, but if doctors know I stopped, because I don’t refill the script, I will have to explain myself.

A reason that I started transitioning one of the reasons was that I was afraid to have a female work history, I am about to finish up university and go out into the real world, when I started Testosterone I wanted to be passing as male by the time. I don’t know that if I wanted to live stealth, but I wanted it to be an option, I wanted to not have to announce to all my co-workers that I was really some kind of self hating lesbian. I wanted that because of transphobia and cisexism because trans men aren’t “real men”, because I would be distrusted, I would be crazy, because I couldn’t say “I am a transsexual” and have that be a neutral comment, like “I was born in England” or even I have a hormone disorder, so I need injections.

Because “having a nose job is a thing you do, but a dick job is a thing you are” – Riki Wilchins (this may not be an exact quote)

I don’t know what the grand narrative is here, but I am afraid of what it will cost me to take more time.


2 Responses

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  1. eccles said, on March 11, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    Its also easy to say when its not your time that is being consumed.

  2. Lori Adorable said, on April 3, 2011 at 9:56 am

    That’s such a complicated issue, and one I never feel comfortable commenting on as a cis person. I just wanted to send positive thoughts your way, whatever decision you end up making.

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