Genderqueer 2 genderqueer's Blog


Posted in Uncategorized by genderqueer2genderqueer on September 25, 2010

I am putting something here that I haven’t even told all my freinds, many of them might read it here first [HI]

I am stopping testosterone, well technically I have stopped, and I am currently waiting for it to leave my system.

There are a bunch of reasons for this, firstly their have been some big personal changes in my life, which many know about but which I don’t want to talk about online here.

I have had some medical issues which are probably connected to T, which I want to deal with first, it’s not a standard risk, but it is an issue which is probably testosterone related, I am being vauge again, but you will just have to deal with that.

I have been dealing with feeling, having made this decision that I am _not trans enough_  and this makes me feel like it is a good idea for me to stop, or at least pause here, because this should be about my own comfort, not about my gender being good enough for someone else.

I was afraid of loosing femaleness, losing connection to women community, to my history, and all of this was important to me.

My politics haven’t changed. I am some what worried about people saying, well I know someone who changed their minds so some other trans people should be forced to wait longer/ jump though more hoops/not transtion at all. I am glad I went on T, I love what it has done to my voice. I still think the gatekeeping is shit, and harmful and hell didn’t stop me from accessing hormones, just made it harder for everyone.

So yeah, on would and up would.

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11 Responses

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  1. nix said, on September 26, 2010 at 11:00 am

    i think it’s great that you are doing what’s best for you – that’s what it should be about! look forward to seeing you tomorrow!

  2. Eddy said, on September 26, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    I think it’s admirable that you can identify what exactly is bothering you and why; and then express that to other people.

  3. genderqueer2genderqueer said, on September 26, 2010 at 11:32 pm

    @nix, thanks I will see you soon.

    @Eddy, it is still very much a work in progress, I think one day I might have an idea but for now I still feel I am working on the basis of my best guess.

    if you want to discuss anything you know where to find me. 🙂

  4. Gq2gq said, on September 27, 2010 at 12:02 am

    @nix I sent you an email.

  5. hexy said, on September 28, 2010 at 7:31 pm


    Supporting you in whatever decisions you make, and whatever path you choose to take with T or any other transition aid. Doing what’s best for you is the important thing. And hey… you can always decide to go back on it again later if you start feeling it’s the right thing to do.

  6. hexy said, on September 28, 2010 at 7:31 pm


  7. genderqueer2genderqueer said, on September 28, 2010 at 10:55 pm



  8. genderqueersquared said, on November 10, 2010 at 6:29 am

    I hope you continue to make decisions based on what your heart is telling you is right for you, and you alone. Sadly, every community has ways we oppress each other — with our opinions and expectations. Be yourself fully, whatever that is. I try daily and I appreciate the pressures you are feeling.

  9. genderqueer2genderqueer said, on November 21, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    @genderqueersquared thanks.

  10. Jules said, on May 23, 2011 at 11:03 am

    From one genderqueer not on hormones, to another, how did you go about obtaining hormones? Did your therapist write you a “T” letter despite the fact that you don’t identify solely as male? I am struggling with this problem right now, and don’t know how to go about addressing it with my person.

  11. genderqueer2genderqueer said, on May 23, 2011 at 11:26 am

    @jules I didn’t talk about being genderqueer to my therapist, I presented as a binary trans guy

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