Genderqueer 2 genderqueer's Blog

Working toward the future, rape and personal triggers. (trigger warning)

Posted in Uncategorized by genderqueer2genderqueer on June 14, 2010

I found a incoming like to this blog, which I will not like back about someone joking about trans men’s fear of victimisation in jail.

This to put not to fine a point on it, triggered the fuck out of me, because I am scared, because I suffer from flashbacks and memories of past victimisation, because in a male jail I would be a small non passing guy with  breasts and a cunt.

I would be vulnerable, and because of a law discussed in my state, that looked good on paper about the searching trans* people by police was writen is such a way that a detective could argue that they where in the right because they assumed that a butch women was really a _trans man_ and therefore it was appropriate for them to search her, rather than treating her in the same way that a gender conforming cis person would be treated.

Lets be clear, conversations about rape need to centre women, the primary victims of sexual abuse, and convsations about trans* victims of rape should center trans women, and other maab trans people, as they are at higher risk of victimisation, but we do ourselves no favours by ignoring abuse, any violation, treating it as as not important.

But, I care about humans, and that means stepping back from a rigid kyriarchical analysis and recognising that all victims are stripped of their humanity, and reconfirming that humanity should be a step on the journey.

It’s absolutely acceptable to center a particularly oppressed group when talking about rape, especially when you belong to that group yourself. I find it entirely acceptable and even positive for women to focus on rape committed against women, and to not be constantly compelled to talk about men, who are in a position of relative privilege. I find it similarly acceptable and positive for trans* people of whatever gender to focus on rape committed against other trans* people, and to not be constantly harassed about caring more about cis survivors. I find it acceptable and positive for people with disabilities to talk about sexual violence specifically committed against other people with disabilities, and to not have to deal with constant reminders that abled people are raped, too.

And I honestly have not the slightest clue why anyone would think that I might want to take that from them.

But actively denying those survivors you don’t center is a different story. Castigating someone else for talking about them ever, and for even calling their experiences rape, is an entirely different subject. Outright saying that you do not care if they are raped may indeed be an expression of righteous anger, but it’s sure as hell not getting us anywhere, collectively. Ejecting other survivors from a larger community of survivors is alienating, as is also attempting to eject those who dare mention their existence.

That post made me feel a lot better, because I know that I have privilege in this society, I know that many people have it worse than me, and I feel once again like I am standing with the community knowing that those around me wont tell me that my issues are unimportant, that they can be gotten too, later, or not at all.

TL;DR: Look, I don’t expect you to  advocate for me, or focus activism on me rather other groups, particularly when those groups are in as bad, or worse  a position socially but supporting you shouldn’t be based on pulling me, or anyone else down, or thinking that another oppressed group should be raped because that is just so gosh-darn-funny, and you know, edgy

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