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Things I wish I could have told my 12 months ago self, that is the things I wish I had known before I started dealing with the medical system.

Posted in Uncategorized by genderqueer2genderqueer on March 19, 2010

This got kinda ranty, but behind everyone of these points are stories, tears and blood split that shouldn’t have been, because doctors mistreat trans people

Things I wish I could have told my 12 months ago self, that is the things I wish I had known before I started dealing with “the system”.

So Young one, you wish to transition medically, ideally without having to get black market drugs, in most of the world this means doctors, lots of doctors. I didn’t really talk about non binary identification because I felt it would lessen my chances of being allowed hormones.

1) leave gender theory at the door.

I had a lot of conversations like this.

“So you would say that you have more male than female interests”

“Well yes, but that is true for many butch dykes who don’t feel the need to transition, I feel that my male identity isn’t connected to my stereotypical butchness ” (Also really, I am about as butch as  carson kressley)

I think answers like this lead me to being delayed to get hormones, because this made me a risky case, in the end I wish I had said “yes, as well as gender dysphoria, I code, I do generally geeky things, and I like cars and girls and beer and butch butch butch things, in fact this add is pretty much all I want in life.

It doesn’t make you a bad person, or a tool of the patriarchy or a failed feminist, it makes you someone who puts your quality of life as a high priory and who recognises the reality of the world trans people have to navigate.

A friend of mine, in a cynical moment commented “it’s like any drug dealer, you have to spend a while sitting on their couch and listening to their weird theories before they will actually get around to selling you the drugs, it’s annoying but it happens.

Don’t talk sex, particularly if you are queer, particularly particularly if you are queer and male assigned.

Thanks to the totally scientific two type hypothesis their is the idea that queer trans women and other male assigned trans people are really just fetishist who get of on the idea of having sex as a women, carefully avoiding the fact that many women, and female bodied people enjoy the idea of themselves having sex, sadly many cis “experts” on transgender people believe that when trans women and other male assigned trans people think about themselves having sex that this is fundamentally different and a fetish and may see this as a reason to deny treatment, although as far as I know their is no evidence to suggest that queer male assigned trans people are any less likely to benefit from transition than anyone else.

Don’t talk sex, particularly if you have sex with your “bits”

Their seems to be an option that trans people must spend their whole lives being crippled by gender dysphoria, and any sign that they didn’t, that you have shown your genitals to others, and or enjoyed sex particularly hetrosex in your assigned gender will often count against you.

This is particularly problematic for those who work in the sex industry,  I am not a sex worker and so I don’t think I have anything of value to add here (anyone want to jump in, go for it) but my guess is that avoiding mentioning your work, or bending it so that you work “at a bar” or “as a massure” is probably a very good idea.

Your doctor could be cool,  your doctor could be crap, but you might not know until it is too late

Not every doctor is bad but their are those who will, and the problem is you may not know that yours is until you mention stuff like this. The doctor I saw was suggested by a bigendered non-passing trans women, who he was great too, I thought it would work out, and I still think I got stuffed around because I was honest, I wish I hadn’t been. I am not the only person to see this side of the trans medical system.

Here’s what I’m after: a surgically constructed male-appearing chest, no hormones (for now–maybe forever), no first-name change, any pronouns (except “it”) are okay, although when it comes to gendered generics I happen to really like “Uncle” better than “Aunt,” and definitely “Mr. Spade.”[9] Hausman writes, “transsexuals must seek and obtain medical treatment in order to be recognized as transsexuals.  Their subject position depends upon a necessary relation to the medical establishment and its discourses.”[10] I’ve quickly learned that the converse is also true, in order to obtain the medical intervention I am seeking, I need to prove my membership in the category “transsexual”–prove that I have GID–to the proper authorities.  Unfortunately, stating my true objectives is not convincing them. – dean spade, muliating gender
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2 Responses

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  1. nix said, on April 4, 2010 at 10:54 am

    it’s like any drug dealer, you have to spend a while sitting on their couch and listening to their weird theories before they will actually get around to selling you the drugs

    quoted for absolute truth and hilarity. can i quote you/them elsewhere?

  2. genderqueer2genderqueer said, on April 4, 2010 at 10:58 am

    Go for it. It was a great quote from K


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