Announcement

I am putting something here that I haven’t even told all my freinds, many of them might read it here first [HI]

I am stopping testosterone, well technically I have stopped, and I am currently waiting for it to leave my system.

There are a bunch of reasons for this, firstly their have been some big personal changes in my life, which many know about but which I don’t want to talk about online here.

I have had some medical issues which are probably connected to T, which I want to deal with first, it’s not a standard risk, but it is an issue which is probably testosterone related, I am being vauge again, but you will just have to deal with that.

I have been dealing with feeling, having made this decision that I am _not trans enough_  and this makes me feel like it is a good idea for me to stop, or at least pause here, because this should be about my own comfort, not about my gender being good enough for someone else.

I was afraid of loosing femaleness, losing connection to women community, to my history, and all of this was important to me.

My politics haven’t changed. I am some what worried about people saying, well I know someone who changed their minds so some other trans people should be forced to wait longer/ jump though more hoops/not transtion at all. I am glad I went on T, I love what it has done to my voice. I still think the gatekeeping is shit, and harmful and hell didn’t stop me from accessing hormones, just made it harder for everyone.

So yeah, on would and up would.

There is a wall of pain between the setup and the punch line

The set up: The radio plays a clip of a new sit com, the big new thing.

The set up: A mother telling her child the skirt she is wearing is too short, not because she will get cold, but because her child’s life with be ruined, she will fall into sluthood and wake up half-naked on beaches, short skirts just have that power.

The punch line: Everyone knows you are a girl sweetie you don’t have to prove it.

And I flinch, and I want to scream, and I know that the mainstream language doesn’t even have the words I need to use, to speak the violence of that line because everyone knows (sweetie) that womanhood is determined gycologically, everyone knows that no real woman ever had someone look at their genitals and declare “it’s a boy” without their consent, without asking first.

Everybody knows.

Zero tolerance

Zero tolerance

On this blog, about peoples transition choices, critize the systems that constrict trans peoples choices, but not how trans people respond to that.

This blog is about non-binary trans people accessing medical transition, and centres those issues, without ignoring others, but those issues are my focus

Lets take a random trans person and call them kate

Ie, if kate doesn’t want surgery, then that is ok, if kate wants and is going to have surgery that is ok, if kate wants some surgery but not others that is ok, any mix of these options are ok.

If kate wants surgery but not hormones and  is being blocked because zie isn’t a true transexual, that is not ok.

Dear Dr Kennedy, I have some issues with your methodology

Some time ago, you wrote this piece.

I would like to disagree, so I will.

In addition to the referral letter we ask that everyone provides two photographs and an account of how gender issues have impacted on their lives

Ok, why the photos, cause that seems kinda creepy, frankly?

Only about 25% F-M come to surgery. This is probably a good thing

Leaving aside the idea that not getting treatment is a good thing, how do you? do you do follow-up, are
you sure these men aren’t seeking surgery though the kind of people who don’t think it is a bad idea that they have it? Why is surgery the end point? many trans people live in their identified gender without surgery, I don’t know if I will get chest surgery, I currently don’t have any plans for it, is my living in an ambiguous body, identifying as non binary and on T so that I can pass as male a good thing? Because I am guessing you wouldn’t think so.

Make no mistake, transition is difficult: physically, psychologically and socially.

Having started T, I feel better physically and psychologically, social life seems fairly good, most people have reacted well or at least not badly, so no, I disagree yet again, and ask do you have any evidence for this, are there studies which show that this is a more difficult time for trans people than say, staying closeted?

All in all, transition is the biggest decision of your life

You know, I think deciding to do honours, and to persue an academic career was harder, and speaking of which I am currently transitioning and doing honours, guess which one causes more stress, more insanity and more late night finishing essays, oh wait, that gives it away don’t it.